Dreams Don't Count Read online

  He though for a moment. "That... would explain a lot actually," he said slowly. "Except it also doesn't make any sense. Like, people can't share dreams."

  "How do you know? You have any proof of that?"

  Tyler's rejection of my hypothesis, even though I didn't really believe it either, immediately put me into argument mode. Damned if I was going to let him win just because he was probably right.

  "Do you have any proof that it is possible?" he countered. "Or any idea how it would even work?"

  "No, but I totally can," I said.

  "How?"

  "Easy. Magenta. Make sure you remember that."

  "What? That doesn't even... what?"

  I smirked at his confusion, but also at how distracted I'd gotten him. He hadn't even noticed how I'd been working at untying his shirt from my wrists until I had already slipped one of my hands free. He gave me a disbelieving look as I lunged at him.

  ****

  The more I thought about it, the more I tried to convince myself there was no way Tyler and I were having shared dreams. It was a silly idea. And yet... it would explain a lot about the dreams, like why we were both there every time and why neither of us had much control over them.

  It didn't really matter what I thought though, because at least now I had a way of determining the truth, and I was actually quite pleased with my sleeping self for having come up with it. All I had to do was talk to my brother when I saw him at breakfast.

  Tyler was already there when I made it down, and so was mom which almost made me chicken out since it made the necessary conversation far less private than I wanted. However, there was nothing that needed to be said that would alert her to anything she shouldn't know about.

  "Hey Ty?" I said.

  "Yeah?" he replied, giving me a funny look as I sat down at the table.

  "Gimme a colour."

  He stared at me for far too long as I tried to act unconcerned.

  "Magenta," he said finally.

  Mom looked at us both like we were crazy, and to an extent we must have been. It could have been pure coincidence that he picked that colour, sure, but it was highly unlikely. That's why I'd picked magenta to begin with; it wasn't a colour I'd expect him to pick randomly. If I needed further confirmation, the expression on his face made it pretty clear he was thinking the exact same thing I was thinking.

  Obviously we couldn't discuss the issue too much further with mom sitting right there, that would have been asking for trouble even if we were subtle about it. In order to get out of what I expected to be a fairly awkward meal, I grabbed some toast and went back to my room instead of sitting at the table like usual.

  I decided that, even if it drove me crazy to wait all day, it might be better to wait and talk to my brother during our dream that night. Now that I knew it was actually him and not some figment of my imagination, it made sense to take advantage of the complete privacy we'd have. There was a reasonable chance yelling might be involved.

  ****

  "This is seriously fucked up," I said.

  "Like you need to tell me," Tyler said.

  We were standing a safe distance apart in the dream room, neither of us really sure how to proceed.

  "I can't believe you actually wanted to touch my boobs," I said. "But I guess at least that makes you the perv and not my own subconscious."

  "Hey, you let me do it, don't put it all on me. We both thought we were just having weird recurring dreams. I just wanted to get something out of it is all."

  "Uh huh, and how long exactly have you wanted to 'get something' from me?"

  "I swear, if I'd known it was you, I never would have done that. You're my sister for fuck's sake. Do you even understand how bad I feel about it now?"

  "Not bad enough."

  I was probably being too hard on him, honestly. He'd just wanted some boobies, and I couldn't really blame him for that. Deep down, I knew part of my anger was actually at myself for the reactions I'd had to the situation, and I was purposefully misdirecting it.

  "Well, I'm sorry, okay?" Tyler said. "I promise I won't do anything like that again."

  "Whatever," I said.

  We tried to ignore each other for a while, but there really wasn't much to do and I soon got bored. It was a pretty sad state of affairs when even my dreams bored me. That was usually what school was for.

  Tyler was lying on the bed, off in his own little world I assumed. It was going to be up to me to reinitiate contact, if only I knew how. I supposed I could just say I forgave him or something, but it seemed such an unnatural thing to say to my brother. I needed a less direct approach.

  "You know, in some ways, it really wasn't all bad," I said. Tyler looked at me warily. "I mean, that back rub was pretty nice."

  "You always did like those," he said.

  "Mm-hm. And really, like, everything else wasn't a big deal, right?"

  "Could have been a lot worse," he agreed. "Does this mean you're not mad at me?"

  "Something like that. Less mad anyway." I approached him and sat down cross-legged on a corner of the bed that wasn't too close to where he lay. "Mostly I'm bored."

  "Ah, of course."

  "Seriously, you wanna just forget about it? Pretend it never happened?"

  "Yeah maybe that's best." He sat up and stretched. "It'll be tricky though, your boobs felt amazing."

  I glared at him out of principle, but I knew he was only teasing. Just trying to get a rise out of me.

  "Damn straight they're amazing," I said, instead of getting angry again. I thrust my chest out a little more. "You're lucky I let you touch them at all."

  He shook his head and looked away. "Careful, you'll tempt me into doing something stupid again."

  "What makes you think I'd let you?"

  For a moment I almost thought Tyler was going to try something, just to prove he could. I was oddly disappointed when he didn't.

  "I told you already, I am legitimately stronger than you," he said. "You know that as well as I do."

  "Maybe you are, but I'm totally smarter and more agile, so suck it."

  Now I was baiting him, pure and simple. Not for the first time I wondered what the hell was wrong with me.

  "I'm not playing this game with you," he said. "It's not going to end well."

  "Chicken."

  "Cut it out." He held up a menacing finger, which only encouraged me.

  "Bawk bawk. What ya gonna do, chiiiicken."

  Tyler lunged at me, which I had fully been anticipating and was therefore one step ahead of him. I was already off the bed and dancing away before he came anywhere near me.

  "Cut it out!" he repeated.

  "Or what? You gonna whine some more?"

  I dodged his next attempt to grab me and stuck my tongue out while continuing to dance away. He'd probably succeed in taking me down at some point, but until then I had every intention of taunting him mercilessly. I knew it was stupid, and I knew my reasons for getting him to chase me were stupider still, but I couldn't help myself.

  Tyler soon calmed down enough to realize he needed to play smarter, years of living with me had taught him a few things, even if he still hadn't learned all my tricks. Instead of wild lunges, he switched to stalking me around the room and waiting for an opening. It caused me to gradually let my guard down since he wasn't coming after me with as much intensity.

  I saw it coming too late when he reached out and grabbed my wrist. I managed to twist away from him and start to get away, but his other arm went around my waist and tugged me entirely the wrong way, causing me to fall. The floor came up at my face far too quickly for my liking.

  Then I woke up. I was breathing heavily, almost like I had actually just been running around instead of sleeping safely in my bed. I swore under my breath and rolled over onto my other side, trying to go right back to sleep but knowing it wouldn't happen.

  Much as I didn't want to admit it, I'd been hoping Tyler would tackle me to the floor and pin me down again. He might have
done it too, if I hadn't been jolted awake. Fucking dreams were messing with me more and more all the time.

  ****

  It seemed every time Tyler and I saw each other the next day we couldn't help sharing a secret look and a small, hesitant smile. It reassured me that things were going to be okay, weird as the situation might be. There was some kind of sexual tension there, which was fucked up, but he was still my one and only brother. It would take a much, much bigger problem to ever ruin our relationship.

  Probably it would have helped if either of us had someone in our lives. A boyfriend, or girlfriend in my brother's case, to keep us occupied might have prevented our minds from seeking each other out. It was hard to say though, because I had no idea what exactly was happening to us. Some kind of twin powers activating maybe, if only that wasn't too 'Saturday morning cartoon' for the real world.

  I tried looking it up online at one point just to see if maybe there was some plausible explanation, but nothing came of that. I didn't even know where to start, other than typing in things like 'shared dreams' and hoping for the best.

  I found myself actually excited for bedtime that night, partly because by unspoken agreement Tyler and I wouldn't talk about our dream world while we were awake. Also, I was coming to realize that I might be an even bigger perv than what I accused my brother of being.

  ****

  "I seriously think we might have some kind of twin-powers," I said.

  "And I'm pretty sure those aren't a real thing," Tyler said.

  "Then how do you want to explain this?"

  He sighed and threw an arm over his face, as if to block me out. He was lying on his back on the dream-bed while I sat nearby, hugging a pillow to my chest.

  "Gremlins?" he said eventually.

  "Gremlins. Right. 'Cause that's so much more sensible than my idea."

  "I don't know, alright? But there's gotta be some kind of reasonable explanation."

  "Twin-powers," I insisted.

  "Whatever makes you happy in that little head of yours."

  I swung my pillow at him, and I would have caught him full in the face had his arm not blocked most of it.

  "Hey, easy there!" he said. "You know stuff like that just makes us wake up."

  "Yeah, but you deserved it. You were being patronizing."

  "Sorry." Tyler rolled over and folded his arms under his chin. He looked at me thoughtfully. "You know, whatever's really going on, it's really not such a bad thing. I never thought about it until recently, but we sort of haven't been spending as much time together the past couple years as we used to."

  "Wow. I so did not see that coming. Are you gonna get all emotional on me now?"

  "No, just... you don't feel that way at all?"

  I bit my lip and pretended to think hard. "I guess maybe you're not the worst person in the world to hang out with."

  "Gee, thanks."

  "Kidding. You're right, it's not so bad spending time with you. Even if you're a massive perv."

  "Liking boobs is normal, it doesn't make me a perv."

  "It does when they're your sister's boobs. Perv."

  Egging him on was just such an instinctual thing for me, I probably would have done it even if I wasn't trying to lure him toward me.

  "You know what, say it again," he said. "Say it one more time, I dare you."

  I smirked and leaned forward, exaggerating my lip movements as I spoke. "You're a huge perv."

  He crawled toward me, slowly and deliberately, and I made no attempt at escape. He stopped right in front of me for a second, then pushed me back so I was lying flat. I still had my pillow, and I clutched it tighter to me in an attempt to hide any visible signs of nervousness.

  "Fine, I'm a perv," Tyler said. "But I can't help noticing that you don't actually seem to mind all that much."

  He pulled the pillow away from me and tossed it aside. I reached for it, but he put a hand on my shoulder to hold me down. I hoped the changes in my breathing and the flushing I felt in my face weren't as apparent to him as they felt to me.

  "What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

  "I think you know what it means."

  His free hand moved toward my chest, and I pushed it away. He smiled enigmatically and made the same move again, this time faster so I didn't have time to stop him.

  I had to bite my lip as his palm covered my breast, perhaps more forcefully then he meant to. The sensation of being held down and being groped by my brother was doing funny things to my head.

  "See, like, you're making a face right now that I could swear means you're enjoying this," he said softly. "But that doesn't make sense, because I'm the perv, not you, right?"

  "We can both be," I said in an equally quiet voice.

  Tyler looked a little surprised at my indirect admission. I knew he wouldn't have been expecting to get it quite so easily. It was kind of amusing how he faltered once he didn't have anything to prove anymore.

  "Oh, um, okay," he said. He let me go and sat up, allowing me my freedom. I stayed where I was. "So... I guess I was right when I suspected you were pushing my buttons on purpose."

  "It's kinda my thing. You're really easy to manipulate most of the time."

  "Shut up. It's just 'cause you've been doing it your whole life. You've had a lot of practice with me."

  "Well I kind of had to learn, because you're right, physically speaking you can pretty much do whatever you want with me."

  My words came out with more of a sexual overtone than I meant them to, and I could tell Tyler had heard it too.

  "Do you... do you actually like that?" he asked. "Like when I--"

  "I don't know," I interrupted. "Maybe. There's been a lot of stuff for me to sort out. Don't take this the wrong way, but it's kinda good and kinda bad at the same time that you're my brother, if you know what I mean."

  "Don't worry, I know what you mean. I have similar feelings on the subject. There are things I've been thinking about, and things I've already done for that matter, that shouldn't involve my sister."

  "Well at least we can trust each other, right? Even if this is sketchy as fuck, no one else is ever gonna know. How could they, it's all in our heads."

  Tyler chuckled. "Yeah, that's true. It does help that this isn't really real. Mostly."

  There was an awkward silence after that, in which the only sounds were from my brother shifting to a more comfortable position. I had to grab his wrist to keep him from moving too far away from me. He'd gone all self-conscious on me, and I knew that unless I did something he wasn't going to be touching me any more until he relaxed some.

  "It's okay to, like, do stuff," I said. "If you want to."

  He was still hesitant to try anything, that was pretty obvious, but at least he scooted back closer so there were only a few inches between us. His gaze flicked back and forth between my chest and elsewhere, presumably in order to not get caught staring. It wasn't nearly as effective a tactic as he was probably hoping.